1 00:00:37,198 --> 00:00:41,576 - Check it out. - Oh, yeah! 2 00:00:43,537 --> 00:00:45,163 - Come on. - Please. 3 00:00:45,331 --> 00:00:47,787 Let us join this union. 4 00:00:54,256 --> 00:00:57,957 - The more the merrier. - All the way! Yeah! 5 00:01:11,813 --> 00:01:15,728 I'm gonna ask Yolanda's ex-girlfriend to bid on the Provocations job. 6 00:01:15,900 --> 00:01:17,731 - Is she a contractor? - Carpenter. 7 00:01:17,732 --> 00:01:19,067 She's got an all-woman crew. 8 00:01:19,236 --> 00:01:21,194 You should definitely hire her. 9 00:01:21,363 --> 00:01:23,487 - Hey. - Hey, guys. 10 00:01:23,657 --> 00:01:26,612 - Hello. - Hello. 11 00:01:26,785 --> 00:01:32,290 The most important thing are his pills. He gets them three times a day. 12 00:01:32,456 --> 00:01:34,746 Three times a day with wet food. 13 00:01:34,917 --> 00:01:37,281 It's best to let him wake up on his own 14 00:01:37,282 --> 00:01:40,789 so he's less crabby about taking them. 15 00:01:40,964 --> 00:01:46,006 But he should be OK. Right, P? Right, Mr P? 16 00:01:46,178 --> 00:01:50,507 - You're up so early. - I guess it's the excitement of the trip. 17 00:01:50,682 --> 00:01:55,558 - That she's too busy to go on. - You can party for both of us. 18 00:01:55,727 --> 00:01:57,887 - Right on. - Let's go. 19 00:01:58,063 --> 00:02:00,436 Was Jenny's a regular latte? 20 00:02:02,525 --> 00:02:06,689 - Is Jenny going with you? - I invited her. 21 00:02:06,862 --> 00:02:12,616 - I felt bad for her. She's all alone. - That's good... I guess. 22 00:02:14,244 --> 00:02:16,070 Say bye, everybody. 23 00:02:16,071 --> 00:02:20,247 I'm gonna stay with Auntie Kit while Mommy goes away with her friends. 24 00:02:20,416 --> 00:02:25,494 Say bye, Shane, Lenore, Bette and Tina. Have fun in Palm Springs. 25 00:02:25,671 --> 00:02:29,919 - Yes, Auntie Kit will watch your back. - Thank you so much. 26 00:02:30,092 --> 00:02:32,334 Congratulate me. I got my period. 27 00:02:34,304 --> 00:02:37,176 - So why are we congratulating you? - Huh? 28 00:02:41,518 --> 00:02:46,596 - 'Cause I love getting my period. - She does. Ever since she was a kid. 29 00:02:46,773 --> 00:02:51,981 It reaffirms my womanhood. I like to celebrate it to, you know... 30 00:02:52,153 --> 00:02:55,191 show women everywhere it's a blessing, it's not a curse. 31 00:02:55,365 --> 00:02:58,235 OK? You guys, road trip? Let's go! 32 00:02:58,409 --> 00:03:00,569 See you, Kit. Bye, Bette. 33 00:03:02,955 --> 00:03:06,739 - I'll call you. - Have a Slippery Nipple for me. 34 00:03:12,088 --> 00:03:17,794 By the way, you were amazing on Insight. Absolutely amazing. 35 00:03:17,968 --> 00:03:20,721 I really applaud your cause and your commitment. 36 00:03:20,888 --> 00:03:24,340 God, that bitch, Fae Buckley, you should have decked her. 37 00:03:24,516 --> 00:03:26,758 - Thank you. - It was great. 38 00:03:35,734 --> 00:03:38,227 - So is this a golf tournament? - Yeah. 39 00:03:38,404 --> 00:03:42,354 It's the Kraft Nabisco Professional Women's Golf Tournament. 40 00:03:42,532 --> 00:03:45,107 - Or the Dinah Shore weekend. - Is she gay? 41 00:03:45,285 --> 00:03:48,986 No. Dinah Shore's dead. She died back in '94. 42 00:03:49,163 --> 00:03:51,991 She hated her snooty little golf tournament 43 00:03:51,992 --> 00:03:54,241 turned into a spring break for lesbians. 44 00:03:54,418 --> 00:03:58,333 Refused to acknowledge it. There are supposed to be 10,000 women there. 45 00:03:58,505 --> 00:04:01,257 - Oh, God. - She's done research. 46 00:04:01,424 --> 00:04:02,875 I'm doing a story for The Weekly. 47 00:04:02,876 --> 00:04:06,845 Gotta make something out of this lame-ass weekend. 48 00:04:07,012 --> 00:04:09,255 And Dana's getting an HRC award. 49 00:04:09,432 --> 00:04:12,137 - We're totally proud of her. - What's that? 50 00:04:12,309 --> 00:04:13,645 It's the Human Rights Campaign, 51 00:04:13,646 --> 00:04:16,888 the biggest gay civil-rights organisation in the country. 52 00:04:17,063 --> 00:04:19,222 - It's a huge deal. - Congratulations. 53 00:04:19,399 --> 00:04:20,598 Thank you. 54 00:04:20,775 --> 00:04:23,183 ♪ I looked to the children ♪ 55 00:04:23,360 --> 00:04:25,437 ♪ I drank from the fountains ♪ 56 00:04:25,612 --> 00:04:29,825 ♪ There's more than one answer to these questions ♪ 57 00:04:30,409 --> 00:04:33,493 ♪ Pointing me in a crooked line ♪ 58 00:04:33,661 --> 00:04:34,661 Yeah! 59 00:04:34,829 --> 00:04:39,539 ♪ The less I seek my source for some definitive ♪ 60 00:04:39,709 --> 00:04:44,620 ♪ Closer I am to fine, yeah ♪ 61 00:04:44,796 --> 00:04:50,301 ♪ Closer I am to fine, yeah! ♪ 62 00:05:00,268 --> 00:05:02,678 Thank God! 63 00:05:02,855 --> 00:05:07,980 Know how many times I had to hear that when Alice was coming out? 64 00:05:08,150 --> 00:05:12,149 It was a nightmare. It was all about Annie Flaherty. 65 00:05:13,489 --> 00:05:18,199 You tell them your coming-out story, honey. It's so hilarious. 66 00:05:18,369 --> 00:05:22,413 It's not my coming-out story. It was just a drunk high-school grope. 67 00:05:22,580 --> 00:05:26,495 - Tell us your coming-out story. - They got hammered. 68 00:05:26,667 --> 00:05:30,595 Then they scampered under the bleachers for a smoke, 69 00:05:30,596 --> 00:05:32,837 which she was not allowed to do. 70 00:05:33,007 --> 00:05:36,210 And then just as they were about to kiss... 71 00:05:37,427 --> 00:05:40,963 Annie vomited all over Alice. 72 00:05:42,766 --> 00:05:45,455 My real coming-out story happened in college. 73 00:05:45,456 --> 00:05:48,436 My boyfriend and I had this band, Butter. 74 00:05:48,604 --> 00:05:53,599 We played every weekend at the Tap Room which was our bar on campus. 75 00:05:53,776 --> 00:05:55,815 Butter rules! 76 00:05:58,488 --> 00:06:00,529 I'm telling you! 77 00:06:01,365 --> 00:06:02,890 It was three guys and me. 78 00:06:02,891 --> 00:06:08,614 I wasn't that into it, but Greg thought we were gonna go all the way. 79 00:06:09,498 --> 00:06:11,622 Where's Brad? 80 00:06:11,792 --> 00:06:17,035 Our bass player quit, so we had three days to find a new one. 81 00:06:17,213 --> 00:06:21,461 We had auditions. These guys couldn't play to save their lives. 82 00:06:21,634 --> 00:06:25,169 Get your feet off the table. Have some respect. 83 00:06:31,267 --> 00:06:34,055 Dave, give me my last fucking cigarette! 84 00:06:35,063 --> 00:06:37,519 Fucking cock. 85 00:06:45,488 --> 00:06:49,487 And then... Tayo walks on stage. 86 00:07:01,044 --> 00:07:04,745 Don't fucking touch me. God! All over me! 87 00:07:12,387 --> 00:07:15,274 We were famous in our little college universe. 88 00:07:15,275 --> 00:07:17,300 People came just to see us. 89 00:07:19,853 --> 00:07:25,191 And me and Tayo, we had amazing chemistry on stage. 90 00:07:54,217 --> 00:07:56,673 Tayo and I only lasted about two months. 91 00:07:56,844 --> 00:07:59,040 She went through every gay, lesbian, 92 00:07:59,041 --> 00:08:02,516 bisexual and transgender organisation on campus. 93 00:08:02,683 --> 00:08:06,811 - She totally broke my heart. - That's why you're a dirty bisexual, huh? 94 00:08:09,063 --> 00:08:12,149 - Tell your story. - You know I can't. 95 00:08:12,316 --> 00:08:15,816 - Why? - It's probably fresh wounds. 96 00:08:15,987 --> 00:08:19,937 - It was 12 years ago, Mom. - God, she was beautiful. 97 00:08:23,619 --> 00:08:28,365 It was at tennis camp. I was 16. She was 17. 98 00:08:28,540 --> 00:08:31,292 Everybody out on the courts! Let's go! 99 00:08:31,459 --> 00:08:32,710 She was my counsellor. 100 00:08:32,711 --> 00:08:36,680 I'd tell you her name, but she's famous now, so I can't. 101 00:08:37,048 --> 00:08:39,539 I'll just call her Ralph. 102 00:08:39,716 --> 00:08:42,255 Aren't you ready yet? 103 00:08:42,427 --> 00:08:47,007 God, she had the most beautiful eyes you have ever seen. 104 00:08:59,108 --> 00:09:01,352 I love you, (BLEEP). 105 00:09:01,528 --> 00:09:03,569 I love you more. 106 00:09:04,613 --> 00:09:10,201 - What happened next? - She wrote her best friend at home. 107 00:09:10,369 --> 00:09:12,350 She told her about us and how in love we were, 108 00:09:12,351 --> 00:09:16,455 and her friend told her parents. 109 00:09:16,624 --> 00:09:19,164 Her parents yanked her out of camp. 110 00:09:19,336 --> 00:09:21,874 - Come on. - We'll talk it over. 111 00:09:22,046 --> 00:09:26,755 I don't wanna talk about it right now. Just go, please. 112 00:09:27,551 --> 00:09:29,959 Go. 113 00:09:36,684 --> 00:09:38,635 After that I ran into her at a few matches 114 00:09:38,636 --> 00:09:42,557 and she wouldn't even look at me. 115 00:09:42,732 --> 00:09:44,974 So, anyway, that's it. 116 00:09:46,485 --> 00:09:51,527 Tennis players are like girls in college. Gay until graduation. 117 00:09:58,037 --> 00:10:02,284 - Sorry to bother you... - James, you don't have to say sorry. 118 00:10:02,458 --> 00:10:05,743 Sorry... a Candace Jewell is here to see you. 119 00:10:05,919 --> 00:10:10,747 - Tell her I'll meet her in the conference room. - OK. 120 00:10:20,307 --> 00:10:23,143 We'll dedicate this gallery to Isabella Pernao, 121 00:10:23,309 --> 00:10:26,541 who does these amazing video installations, 122 00:10:26,542 --> 00:10:28,352 who I think should be on this wall, 123 00:10:28,523 --> 00:10:32,735 and Ray Fields' work on the other wall, hand-drawn, lettered books. 124 00:10:32,902 --> 00:10:37,114 We'll need to construct some display cases for those. 125 00:10:37,281 --> 00:10:39,737 - It's like theatre-set construction. - Is that good? 126 00:10:39,908 --> 00:10:42,614 I did it in college. I loved it. 127 00:10:42,786 --> 00:10:45,858 Look, what if instead of wall mounting, 128 00:10:45,859 --> 00:10:48,492 we were to construct free-standing scaffolding? 129 00:10:48,666 --> 00:10:50,790 It'd work something like shoji screens. 130 00:10:50,959 --> 00:10:56,002 I think it would make the space more dynamic for displaying the work. 131 00:10:56,173 --> 00:11:00,835 - How long would it take you to get me a bid? - Today? 132 00:11:01,010 --> 00:11:03,503 - That would be great. - OK. 133 00:11:03,680 --> 00:11:08,093 OK, then. My coming-out story also involves someone famous. 134 00:11:08,267 --> 00:11:09,347 Is she gay? 135 00:11:09,518 --> 00:11:11,704 It was the '70s 136 00:11:11,705 --> 00:11:15,937 and every weekend I went to one of these parties at the mansion, 137 00:11:16,107 --> 00:11:19,856 which, of course, was full of swingers and orgies and drugs, 138 00:11:20,027 --> 00:11:22,733 as I am sure you girls know. 139 00:11:22,905 --> 00:11:27,614 One night an ex of mine I hadn't seen in years, 140 00:11:27,784 --> 00:11:30,905 he was sitting right there in the living room. 141 00:11:31,079 --> 00:11:36,785 All I could say was, "I thought I told you to wait in the car." 142 00:11:36,960 --> 00:11:40,661 Mom, that is straight out of Tallulah Bankhead's biography. 143 00:11:40,838 --> 00:11:44,789 That doesn't mean that I didn't say it. 144 00:11:44,967 --> 00:11:47,209 Anyway, where was I? 145 00:11:48,595 --> 00:11:51,798 The pool. Well, I don't wanna be indiscreet, 146 00:11:51,973 --> 00:11:57,478 but there was an incident in a pool with two girls. 147 00:11:57,644 --> 00:12:01,643 I mean, these girls were real knock-outs. 148 00:12:01,815 --> 00:12:04,603 Most of the girls at those parties were, 149 00:12:04,776 --> 00:12:07,732 but they were giving each other a tonsil inspection 150 00:12:07,733 --> 00:12:10,317 that would make a doctor blush. 151 00:12:10,490 --> 00:12:14,108 So I decided, what the hey, and joined in. 152 00:12:16,703 --> 00:12:21,413 What can I say? One thing led to another and... 153 00:12:24,586 --> 00:12:26,626 It was hot. 154 00:12:32,551 --> 00:12:35,469 Shane, do you wanna share your story? 155 00:12:35,637 --> 00:12:38,888 Yeah. That's easy. 156 00:12:39,807 --> 00:12:41,150 Tiffany Gardner. 157 00:12:41,151 --> 00:12:44,020 She was this gorgeous blonde who lived down the street. 158 00:12:44,854 --> 00:12:48,638 I used to sit and watch her play in the park. 159 00:12:48,815 --> 00:12:50,703 Then one day I thought, 160 00:12:50,704 --> 00:12:54,320 "Fuck this. Enough's enough. I'm gonna meet this chick." 161 00:12:54,487 --> 00:12:58,948 So I pack up my Sunshine Meal and I walk over to her. 162 00:12:59,117 --> 00:13:03,910 She's sitting in the sand playing hard to get. I knew I was hooked. 163 00:13:04,079 --> 00:13:08,327 That girl took my Sunshine Meal toy. And then she took my heart. 164 00:13:08,500 --> 00:13:11,411 OK, perfect timing! Here we are. 165 00:13:11,412 --> 00:13:13,293 Jenny, will you open the door for my mom? 166 00:13:13,463 --> 00:13:17,110 That reminds me of this tragic lesbian 167 00:13:17,111 --> 00:13:19,383 that passed out on my kitchen floor. 168 00:13:19,552 --> 00:13:23,301 John Cassavetes and Gena Rowlands had come for lunch. 169 00:13:23,472 --> 00:13:28,384 They had had a couple of drinks. Just as they walk in, she wakes up. 170 00:13:28,560 --> 00:13:32,261 - Mom, I think your phone's ringing. - Let me finish my story. 171 00:13:32,439 --> 00:13:36,271 - She wakes up at that moment... - Maybe it's your new agent. 172 00:13:36,442 --> 00:13:38,815 Oh, my God. You're right. 173 00:13:38,986 --> 00:13:41,312 - Bye, Lenore. - My God, you guys. 174 00:13:41,488 --> 00:13:43,778 Bye, Lenore. 175 00:13:43,949 --> 00:13:46,785 Dana, help me. Grab a bag. 176 00:13:46,952 --> 00:13:50,736 - I can get that one. I can get it. - Come on! 177 00:13:59,046 --> 00:14:01,584 Mom, I've left your bag on the porch! 178 00:14:01,756 --> 00:14:04,628 - Get in the car. Go! - Bye, Lenore! 179 00:14:06,052 --> 00:14:07,511 Go, go, go, go! 180 00:14:09,472 --> 00:14:11,928 Am I going to hell for that? 181 00:14:12,975 --> 00:14:16,510 Your asses were in this van so fast. Come on. 182 00:14:17,604 --> 00:14:19,644 Poor Lenore. 183 00:14:20,607 --> 00:14:23,275 Oh, fuck. 184 00:14:24,276 --> 00:14:27,776 Hello? No, hi. No. 185 00:14:27,947 --> 00:14:29,856 No, of course not. 186 00:14:30,032 --> 00:14:31,690 We didn't know how long you were gonna be 187 00:14:31,691 --> 00:14:36,071 and Dana's gotta register for the event. 188 00:14:36,246 --> 00:14:37,872 So, yeah. 189 00:14:38,039 --> 00:14:41,409 OK, yeah, of course. Of course. I will. 190 00:14:41,584 --> 00:14:44,289 OK, I'll talk to you soon. Bye. 191 00:14:46,714 --> 00:14:49,004 She was making us crazy, right? 192 00:14:49,508 --> 00:14:52,675 - Right? - Yeah, yeah. 193 00:15:16,991 --> 00:15:22,531 Dana? Dana Fairbanks. So glad to meet you. I'm Tonya, guest liaison. 194 00:15:22,704 --> 00:15:25,706 I'm here to take care of all your needs. 195 00:15:25,874 --> 00:15:28,579 Excuse me! This is Dana Fairbanks. 196 00:15:28,751 --> 00:15:32,002 Someone take her stuff to her room, suite 251. 197 00:15:32,171 --> 00:15:34,710 - Are you alone? - No, I'm with friends. 198 00:15:34,882 --> 00:15:36,804 Wanna bring them to the dinner? 199 00:15:36,805 --> 00:15:41,086 I need you at a photo shoot in about an hour. 200 00:15:41,263 --> 00:15:43,719 - We'll be fine. - We'd cramp Dana's style. 201 00:15:43,890 --> 00:15:49,347 OK. So glad to have you here. I'll have to protect you from the staff. 202 00:15:49,520 --> 00:15:50,670 Seriously, though, 203 00:15:50,671 --> 00:15:55,060 I am here to act as a buffer between you and your fans. 204 00:15:55,233 --> 00:15:56,349 OK. 205 00:15:56,526 --> 00:16:01,273 Now, I'm gonna give you the key to your room and here's my card. 206 00:16:01,448 --> 00:16:05,577 I'll give you my cellphone number. Use it if you need anything. 207 00:16:05,743 --> 00:16:11,746 A second opinion on what pair of shoes to wear, you just call me, OK? 208 00:16:11,915 --> 00:16:14,490 See you in an hour. Bye, ladies. 209 00:16:14,668 --> 00:16:17,622 - Bye. - Bye-bye. 210 00:16:17,796 --> 00:16:20,880 - Wow. - Does that thing come with batteries, Dana? 211 00:16:27,471 --> 00:16:31,884 I've never seen so many women in one place in my life. 212 00:16:32,058 --> 00:16:37,765 - All of them greased up and ready to go. - You should go down there, you guys. 213 00:17:14,639 --> 00:17:16,679 Guys. Guys! 214 00:17:18,517 --> 00:17:22,100 Is this suit too conservative? I brought a dress. 215 00:17:25,439 --> 00:17:28,276 - The suit's great. - Thanks. 216 00:17:34,448 --> 00:17:37,022 - Hi. Is Dana here? - Uh-huh. 217 00:17:37,200 --> 00:17:39,526 Excellent. Wow, you look phenomenal. 218 00:17:39,702 --> 00:17:43,536 But I bet you would in anything that you wear. 219 00:17:43,706 --> 00:17:48,582 - Passes, and a chance to win an Olivia cruise. - Thanks, Tonya. 220 00:17:48,752 --> 00:17:51,955 So, are you ready to go? Excellent. 221 00:17:52,131 --> 00:17:54,385 I've got my work cut out for me with you. 222 00:17:54,386 --> 00:17:58,169 People are gonna be all over you. 223 00:17:58,344 --> 00:18:01,465 - Bye, girls. - Have fun. Thank you again. 224 00:18:01,639 --> 00:18:03,384 - Bye. - Thank you. 225 00:18:03,558 --> 00:18:05,598 What's this? 226 00:18:08,687 --> 00:18:11,356 - Oh. - I have your estimate for you. 227 00:18:17,570 --> 00:18:22,233 OK... this is $50 more than the highest bidder. 228 00:18:23,701 --> 00:18:25,741 May I? 229 00:18:27,579 --> 00:18:29,906 Have you ever seen this? 230 00:18:33,501 --> 00:18:38,329 - There are three sides to the triangle, see? - Fast, good, cheap. 231 00:18:38,505 --> 00:18:42,125 You can have any two, but never all three together. 232 00:18:42,301 --> 00:18:46,549 Course you can. If you have enough money... It wouldn't be cheap. 233 00:18:46,722 --> 00:18:50,933 Fast and good with a big crew of skilled, highly paid workers. 234 00:18:51,101 --> 00:18:54,303 Fast and cheap, but it would look like shit. 235 00:18:54,479 --> 00:18:57,563 - Or cheap and good. - That's the one I want. 236 00:18:57,732 --> 00:19:00,700 But you'll probably be bumping up against that carpenter 237 00:19:00,701 --> 00:19:04,066 for the better part of a year. 238 00:19:07,866 --> 00:19:10,736 - OK. - Are you here for a while longer? 239 00:19:10,909 --> 00:19:15,122 I love that Cuban place. I could pick us up some take-out. 240 00:19:15,288 --> 00:19:19,785 I'll draw you some rough sketches of what I'm thinking while we eat. 241 00:19:19,960 --> 00:19:22,452 - OK. - Good. I'll put the order in. 242 00:19:22,629 --> 00:19:25,631 You look at that while I'm gone. 243 00:19:35,348 --> 00:19:36,428 Alice! 244 00:19:36,600 --> 00:19:39,305 - Who knew? - I'm thinking not Dinah Shore. 245 00:19:41,937 --> 00:19:44,774 - Wait, Al. - What? 246 00:19:47,276 --> 00:19:51,523 - What about you, Jenny? - If I had a few more of these shots. 247 00:19:52,614 --> 00:19:54,239 Present for Bette. 248 00:19:55,909 --> 00:20:01,035 That's good. Should I call and ask if I should wear one? 249 00:20:01,205 --> 00:20:02,404 Make it a surprise. 250 00:20:02,581 --> 00:20:05,916 We just fought all the time. 251 00:20:06,084 --> 00:20:07,700 You know how Yolanda is. 252 00:20:07,701 --> 00:20:11,162 She isn't happy unless she's ranting about something. 253 00:20:11,339 --> 00:20:13,690 She can't abide you if you disagree. 254 00:20:13,691 --> 00:20:17,294 She won't respect you if you don't challenge her. 255 00:20:17,469 --> 00:20:20,139 - She should have stayed in therapy. - Yeah. 256 00:20:22,224 --> 00:20:24,265 Excuse me. 257 00:20:28,438 --> 00:20:31,107 Can you excuse me for a second? 258 00:20:34,026 --> 00:20:36,732 - Hey. - Hi! Oh, my God! 259 00:20:36,904 --> 00:20:39,564 This is insane. I wish you could see it. 260 00:20:39,565 --> 00:20:42,409 It's crazy. Say hi to the girls. 261 00:20:42,576 --> 00:20:44,616 - Hi! - Hey, Bette. 262 00:20:45,912 --> 00:20:50,242 - See? Everybody misses you. - I'm glad you're having fun. You deserve it. 263 00:20:50,416 --> 00:20:53,702 I'm having some food with Candace. She's taking measurements. 264 00:20:53,877 --> 00:20:58,790 What? It's so loud here. I can't hear you! 265 00:20:58,966 --> 00:21:00,214 Are you still at work? 266 00:21:00,215 --> 00:21:04,304 You should get some rest before the artists get there. 267 00:21:04,471 --> 00:21:06,879 - I'll try. Can you hear me? - What? 268 00:21:07,056 --> 00:21:10,307 - Hello? - Baby, you're cracking up. I can't hear you. 269 00:21:10,476 --> 00:21:14,059 I'm gonna call you back later. Bye! 270 00:21:22,320 --> 00:21:25,903 Is everything OK? The artwork isn't held up at customs? 271 00:21:26,073 --> 00:21:28,114 No, nothing like that. 272 00:21:29,159 --> 00:21:31,200 It was my girlfriend. 273 00:21:32,246 --> 00:21:33,361 Oh. 274 00:21:33,538 --> 00:21:35,995 I didn't know you had one. 275 00:21:36,165 --> 00:21:38,206 Why would you? 276 00:21:50,012 --> 00:21:53,547 - At least I can have a drink now. - Cheers. 277 00:21:53,723 --> 00:21:56,926 Right there. That's what I call a hundred footer. 278 00:21:57,101 --> 00:22:01,598 - What's that? - You can tell she's a lesbian from 100 feet. 279 00:22:01,772 --> 00:22:05,984 Is it her hair? Is it her jog bra? Is it her mandles? 280 00:22:06,151 --> 00:22:09,603 I can tell she's a lesbo from across a football field. 281 00:22:09,780 --> 00:22:13,280 - What am I? - No, you're in transition. It's impossible. 282 00:22:13,449 --> 00:22:18,610 - Come on. - You need a guy or a girl to tip you one way. 283 00:22:18,788 --> 00:22:20,282 - Right? - Yeah. 284 00:22:20,455 --> 00:22:21,737 Fuck. 285 00:22:23,458 --> 00:22:26,160 Well, I guess I'd better get back to work 286 00:22:26,161 --> 00:22:30,042 so I can get back to bed sometime tonight. 287 00:22:30,214 --> 00:22:33,666 I have a phone meeting at 7am with New York. 288 00:22:33,842 --> 00:22:37,461 I miss it. I'm from Brooklyn. I grew up there. 289 00:22:37,638 --> 00:22:39,964 Old-school Brooklyn, before it was fashionable. 290 00:22:40,140 --> 00:22:44,054 - North Philly, before it was a war zone. - Right. 291 00:23:02,452 --> 00:23:05,537 This is totally a white party, you guys. 292 00:23:06,372 --> 00:23:09,658 - I'm gonna go have another drink. - Bye. 293 00:23:09,834 --> 00:23:11,873 - See you later. - Bye. 294 00:23:29,517 --> 00:23:32,270 - One, two, three! - Fuck. 295 00:23:36,566 --> 00:23:38,607 Good girl. 296 00:23:39,651 --> 00:23:45,323 - OK, so what happened? - I go over to her house, like a fucking idiot. 297 00:23:45,491 --> 00:23:48,464 I'm watching her with her real girlfriend, 298 00:23:48,465 --> 00:23:50,532 which I know absolutely nothing about. 299 00:23:50,703 --> 00:23:54,405 They're watching me like I'm this little sort of amusement, 300 00:23:54,406 --> 00:23:56,208 this little plaything. 301 00:23:56,376 --> 00:23:58,631 Meanwhile, back at the ranch, my boy... 302 00:23:58,632 --> 00:24:02,295 no, I'm sorry, my husband, my life... 303 00:24:02,464 --> 00:24:05,336 my life is completely ruined. 304 00:24:05,509 --> 00:24:10,005 She managed to fucking destroy my relationship 305 00:24:10,179 --> 00:24:12,884 while leaving hers completely intact. 306 00:24:13,057 --> 00:24:17,221 Wait. So this is the first woman you were ever with? 307 00:24:18,270 --> 00:24:21,307 Oh, my God. 308 00:24:21,481 --> 00:24:23,724 This is my coming-out story. 309 00:24:23,900 --> 00:24:28,194 Ladies, I'm telling all of you guys my coming-out story. 310 00:24:28,362 --> 00:24:30,855 Tell it! Tell it! Tell it! 311 00:24:31,032 --> 00:24:35,195 Tell it! Tell it! Tell it! 312 00:24:35,369 --> 00:24:39,866 I go to a party at my neighbour's, Bette and Tina's house. 313 00:24:40,040 --> 00:24:42,282 Bette and Tina! 314 00:24:42,458 --> 00:24:46,623 OK. I'm at the party, and there she is. 315 00:24:47,922 --> 00:24:49,962 I see Marina. 316 00:24:51,008 --> 00:24:56,346 She was possibly the most beautiful woman I had ever seen. 317 00:24:57,388 --> 00:25:01,434 Later on that night she followed me into the bathroom. 318 00:25:04,353 --> 00:25:07,105 And then she does it. The thing. 319 00:25:07,272 --> 00:25:09,811 Am I crazy, drunk, hallucinating? 320 00:25:09,983 --> 00:25:16,402 And I was thinking, "Am I crazy? Am I drunk? Am I hallucinating?" 321 00:25:16,573 --> 00:25:19,241 And then she does it. 322 00:25:19,408 --> 00:25:23,869 The thing that would go on to confuse me 323 00:25:24,037 --> 00:25:29,115 and fuck with all things stable in my life. 324 00:25:30,251 --> 00:25:31,433 I'm walking out the door and I'm thinking, 325 00:25:31,434 --> 00:25:37,298 "I have just had the best fucking sex 326 00:25:37,467 --> 00:25:40,005 in my whole fucking life, man!" 327 00:25:40,635 --> 00:25:43,590 No, no, you guys. I'm serious. 328 00:25:43,763 --> 00:25:46,180 This is probably the best sex 329 00:25:46,181 --> 00:25:50,347 that anybody can have on the fucking planet Earth. 330 00:25:50,519 --> 00:25:53,971 And then she does this fucking thing. Come here. 331 00:25:54,148 --> 00:25:57,350 I'm gonna show you. Wait, I gotta be her. 332 00:26:01,529 --> 00:26:06,951 Jenny, I hope this doesn't make it worse, 333 00:26:07,118 --> 00:26:10,534 but I think I could fall in love with you. 334 00:26:14,083 --> 00:26:15,910 - That's fucked. - Fucker. 335 00:26:16,084 --> 00:26:19,031 Not, "I'm falling in love with you." 336 00:26:19,032 --> 00:26:21,245 It's, "I think I'm falling in love with you." 337 00:26:21,422 --> 00:26:25,373 She said, "I think I could fall in love with you." 338 00:26:25,551 --> 00:26:26,551 That's even worse. 339 00:26:26,561 --> 00:26:31,150 You don't hear "I think I could" 'cause you're not supposed to. 340 00:26:31,223 --> 00:26:34,842 It's a trick. It's a fucking loophole. 341 00:26:35,018 --> 00:26:40,096 She wrecked my fucking life with supposition. 342 00:26:40,273 --> 00:26:41,934 - Here. - What? 343 00:26:42,108 --> 00:26:46,188 Call her up. Tell her what a fucking fucker she is. 344 00:26:46,362 --> 00:26:50,360 - You need to say it. - Do it. It'll cleanse you. 345 00:26:50,532 --> 00:26:52,906 You think I should call her up? 346 00:26:53,076 --> 00:26:58,700 Call her! Call her! Call her! Call her! Call her! 347 00:26:59,582 --> 00:27:03,746 I'm gonna call her and tell her what a fucker she is 348 00:27:03,919 --> 00:27:07,704 for fucking with my life and leaving her life as it is. 349 00:27:07,881 --> 00:27:12,211 I'm gonna set that fucking bitch straight. 350 00:27:13,261 --> 00:27:17,010 Shh! Shh! Please, please. OK, it's ringing. 351 00:27:18,182 --> 00:27:20,757 Fuck. 352 00:27:22,144 --> 00:27:24,185 Oh, my gosh, it's her. 353 00:27:25,814 --> 00:27:27,095 I got you. 354 00:27:27,273 --> 00:27:30,145 Hi. Is Thomas there? 355 00:27:31,652 --> 00:27:33,729 This isn't Tom's house? 356 00:27:33,904 --> 00:27:35,945 Hello? 357 00:27:36,740 --> 00:27:38,900 Bitch hung up on me. Perfect. 358 00:27:40,493 --> 00:27:42,986 I'll take that. 359 00:27:44,372 --> 00:27:47,540 That was very nice of you. 360 00:27:47,709 --> 00:27:50,711 - Well... - It was very kind. 361 00:27:50,878 --> 00:27:52,919 It was my pleasure. 362 00:27:56,132 --> 00:28:00,001 You were so amazing. You should be so proud of yourself. 363 00:28:00,178 --> 00:28:03,963 That story about your mother was hysterical, OK? 364 00:28:04,140 --> 00:28:08,470 And your coming-out story, oh, my God, it broke my heart. 365 00:28:08,644 --> 00:28:12,689 - It did? - Did you and Lara ever work it out? 366 00:28:12,857 --> 00:28:17,602 - No, I... - Dana, hey! I'm know I'm being a total geek. 367 00:28:17,777 --> 00:28:21,728 - Would you sign my underwear? - Miss Fairbanks has an appointment. 368 00:28:21,906 --> 00:28:24,315 - Excuse me. - I... I... Hi. 369 00:28:24,492 --> 00:28:29,320 Hi. We have this bet on over here. Do you have a girlfriend? 370 00:28:29,496 --> 00:28:32,581 I really don't think that's any of your business. 371 00:28:32,749 --> 00:28:35,869 Your fans are getting out of control. 372 00:29:06,488 --> 00:29:11,648 - It is flying through the air. - I would love to know what that feels like. 373 00:29:11,826 --> 00:29:14,946 When you work with someone else, it's about trust. 374 00:29:15,121 --> 00:29:18,704 "Did I give them a reason to not catch me?" 375 00:29:18,874 --> 00:29:23,335 If I were a trapeze artist, I don't think anybody would catch me. 376 00:29:23,503 --> 00:29:27,418 I would probably need this massive mat or something. 377 00:29:28,215 --> 00:29:32,131 That's the third time you've referred to yourself as worthless. 378 00:29:32,303 --> 00:29:34,676 Is this your Leaving Las Vegas moment? 379 00:29:34,846 --> 00:29:38,181 Have you come here to get alcohol poisoning and die? 380 00:29:38,350 --> 00:29:40,823 No, I'm not suicidal. 381 00:29:40,824 --> 00:29:45,349 I've just fucked up my life just a little bit, you know? 382 00:29:45,523 --> 00:29:50,649 So can I tell you something? Working on the trapeze is like fucking up. 383 00:29:50,820 --> 00:29:53,774 50 feet above the ground... 384 00:29:53,948 --> 00:29:57,438 ... and you let go of the only security you have 385 00:29:57,439 --> 00:29:58,491 to fly through the air. 386 00:29:58,660 --> 00:30:00,860 In that moment, everything's lost. 387 00:30:00,861 --> 00:30:04,698 You could live or die, but you've taken that risk. 388 00:30:04,873 --> 00:30:07,293 Grabbing that bar is like getting a second chance, 389 00:30:07,294 --> 00:30:10,628 so you grab it, swing on it... 390 00:30:10,796 --> 00:30:13,667 and you do it all over again, Jenny. 391 00:30:16,843 --> 00:30:19,585 Thanks. I appreciate this. 392 00:30:19,586 --> 00:30:21,346 There are probably tons of people in my room. 393 00:30:21,472 --> 00:30:26,218 Dana, I gotta be honest with you. I wanna make love to you. 394 00:30:27,644 --> 00:30:29,685 OK. 395 00:30:31,106 --> 00:30:33,064 Um... all right. 396 00:30:34,192 --> 00:30:36,233 Magnificent. 397 00:30:40,865 --> 00:30:44,994 I love you so much, more than I seem able to understand. 398 00:30:45,160 --> 00:30:49,324 I never really knew happiness until I loved you. Sometimes when... 399 00:30:49,498 --> 00:30:51,490 - Hi. - Hey. 400 00:30:51,666 --> 00:30:52,912 - Hey. - Hey. 401 00:30:53,084 --> 00:30:57,164 I've just never seen so much debauchery in my whole life. 402 00:30:57,338 --> 00:31:02,925 I had so much tequila. I have no idea why I'm still standing right now. 403 00:31:03,093 --> 00:31:05,440 And then I had to step over 404 00:31:05,441 --> 00:31:10,341 all these women bodies in order to get to this room. 405 00:31:10,517 --> 00:31:14,384 I feel sort of crazy, you know. 406 00:31:14,561 --> 00:31:17,018 What happened with the lady? Anything? 407 00:31:19,315 --> 00:31:23,777 - I have a date on Wednesday night in LA. - Wow. 408 00:31:23,945 --> 00:31:25,440 Good job. 409 00:31:33,412 --> 00:31:38,240 - It's on vibrate. I like it! - Here. Let me... I'll just... Sorry. 410 00:31:38,417 --> 00:31:40,456 I'll get this. 411 00:31:41,169 --> 00:31:43,209 - Hello? Yeah. - Sorry. 412 00:31:44,797 --> 00:31:47,964 - Hi. Al, yeah. - Do you like that? 413 00:31:48,133 --> 00:31:50,340 - Yeah... - Does that feel good? 414 00:31:50,511 --> 00:31:52,967 At the hotel. 415 00:31:53,138 --> 00:31:55,179 People. 416 00:31:56,433 --> 00:31:59,600 Soon. I gotta go. OK. I gotta go. Bye. 417 00:32:03,856 --> 00:32:06,561 You guys, Dana's hooking up. 418 00:32:06,733 --> 00:32:08,774 Oh, my God. 419 00:32:09,736 --> 00:32:12,110 It's not that weird hospitality chick, is it? 420 00:32:12,111 --> 00:32:16,818 Call me a hippy, but that girl has bad vibes. 421 00:32:16,992 --> 00:32:20,030 And Dana's judgement sucks, except for Lara. 422 00:32:20,204 --> 00:32:22,446 - Look who's talking. - OK. 423 00:32:22,622 --> 00:32:27,369 Why is it so difficult to meet the right person? 424 00:32:27,544 --> 00:32:33,333 All of our stories are about confusion and unfulfilled desire, 425 00:32:33,507 --> 00:32:35,382 and disappointment, right? 426 00:32:35,551 --> 00:32:38,636 It happens to everyone who tries a relationship. 427 00:32:38,804 --> 00:32:43,680 Tina, time for you to bust out your story. Give these women some hope. 428 00:32:43,851 --> 00:32:47,220 - Sit down. Sit. - Thank you. 429 00:32:47,395 --> 00:32:49,685 - Speak. - OK. 430 00:32:49,856 --> 00:32:54,399 - Well, I was dating this entertainment lawyer. - Eric. 431 00:32:55,444 --> 00:32:59,228 I was there! It was after me and Bette stopped dating. 432 00:32:59,406 --> 00:33:03,191 We were in that best-friend stage. Eric was pretty hot. 433 00:33:03,368 --> 00:33:04,733 He was an art collector. 434 00:33:04,734 --> 00:33:09,372 He took me to this art opening at the Bette Porter Gallery. 435 00:33:09,540 --> 00:33:12,791 - I helped her find that space. - I know. 436 00:33:12,960 --> 00:33:16,800 Anyway, she had this amazing reputation 437 00:33:16,801 --> 00:33:18,023 for picking all the great artists. 438 00:33:18,047 --> 00:33:22,960 And she was smart and tough and unbelievably beautiful. 439 00:33:23,136 --> 00:33:25,462 This is my girlfriend, Tina Kennard. 440 00:33:25,638 --> 00:33:28,593 She heads up Development at Alphaville. 441 00:33:28,766 --> 00:33:32,266 - Tina, Bette Porter. - Nice to meet you. 442 00:33:32,435 --> 00:33:35,191 How would Catherine Opie feel about us 443 00:33:35,192 --> 00:33:38,724 blowing up that print to 5 by 6 feet? 444 00:33:38,900 --> 00:33:42,768 Why don't you ask her yourself? She's right over there. 445 00:33:42,945 --> 00:33:46,445 - I think I'll just stay here. - OK. Excellent. 446 00:33:46,615 --> 00:33:51,159 So then Eric and I got invited to one of her artist dinners. 447 00:33:51,327 --> 00:33:54,246 Her artist dinners were really, really famous. 448 00:33:54,414 --> 00:33:58,329 There were all these people there from Paris and New York, 449 00:33:58,501 --> 00:34:03,661 some celebrated intellectual, some big-shot critic. 450 00:34:03,839 --> 00:34:06,129 It was intimidating. 451 00:34:07,301 --> 00:34:11,797 But she was so warm and gracious. 452 00:34:11,971 --> 00:34:14,179 Are you coming to sit down? 453 00:34:14,348 --> 00:34:18,097 Yeah. I just really like this one. 454 00:34:18,269 --> 00:34:22,480 And then... and then the earring thing happened. 455 00:34:26,234 --> 00:34:29,900 You've lost your earring. Here. 456 00:34:31,864 --> 00:34:33,905 Thank you. 457 00:34:35,534 --> 00:34:38,619 Thank you. I'm really excited to get started. 458 00:34:38,787 --> 00:34:42,073 Thank you. It's a dream project, everything about it. 459 00:34:43,249 --> 00:34:45,290 - Good night. - Good night. 460 00:34:48,546 --> 00:34:52,414 - So Bette was your first girlfriend? - First, last and for ever. 461 00:34:52,592 --> 00:34:55,344 Aren't you curious to be with someone else? 462 00:34:55,510 --> 00:34:59,758 Definitely. I think, "God, am I gonna go to my grave 463 00:34:59,931 --> 00:35:02,684 and that's the only woman I've ever slept with?" 464 00:35:02,851 --> 00:35:06,801 But I look at her and think, "What more could I want?" 465 00:35:06,979 --> 00:35:09,934 - Tell 'em the rest. - OK. 466 00:35:10,107 --> 00:35:14,769 Then that night I realised I left the earring at her gallery, 467 00:35:14,945 --> 00:35:19,108 even though I could have sworn I put it in my ear. 468 00:35:19,282 --> 00:35:22,901 - Call it fate. - Or the oldest trick in the book. 469 00:35:30,333 --> 00:35:34,462 I could have sworn I watched you put this back on. 470 00:36:00,903 --> 00:36:03,691 I forgot something. 471 00:36:03,864 --> 00:36:05,905 Yeah, you did. 472 00:36:08,951 --> 00:36:12,902 I forgot... that I won't be able to sleep tonight 473 00:36:13,080 --> 00:36:18,372 if I don't tell you that all I wanted to do all day long is kiss you. 474 00:36:21,505 --> 00:36:24,257 Tell me if you don't want me to. 475 00:36:55,327 --> 00:36:58,032 I should go, shouldn't I? 476 00:36:58,205 --> 00:37:00,244 Yeah, you should. 477 00:37:38,074 --> 00:37:40,612 Hello? 478 00:37:40,784 --> 00:37:43,027 Hey, you. 479 00:37:43,203 --> 00:37:45,446 Yeah, but I'll be back tomorrow. 480 00:37:46,748 --> 00:37:48,990 Yeah. 481 00:37:49,167 --> 00:37:51,706 OK, that sounds nice. 482 00:37:51,878 --> 00:37:53,788 All right. 483 00:37:53,963 --> 00:37:56,750 - You're hot. - Thank you. 484 00:37:56,924 --> 00:38:00,210 - She's so cute! - No, it's OK, go. 485 00:38:00,386 --> 00:38:02,510 OK. OK. 486 00:38:02,679 --> 00:38:04,720 Cherie... 487 00:38:07,058 --> 00:38:11,851 Nothing, nothing. Nothing. I'm OK. I'll see you tomorrow. 488 00:38:14,064 --> 00:38:16,105 OK. Bye. 489 00:38:34,166 --> 00:38:38,295 I can't believe I'm about to go down on Dana Fairbanks. 490 00:38:55,811 --> 00:38:58,479 Oh, God, I slept in my clothes. 491 00:39:28,881 --> 00:39:32,002 Tell me everything! Tell me everything! 492 00:39:32,176 --> 00:39:33,969 Where were you? 493 00:39:53,320 --> 00:39:55,397 - Hi, baby. - There you are. 494 00:39:55,572 --> 00:39:58,278 You sound exhausted. Did you work late? 495 00:39:58,450 --> 00:40:02,151 - Yeah, I did. - Well, you aren't the only one. 496 00:40:02,328 --> 00:40:05,200 'Cause Dana just crawled in this morning. 497 00:40:05,373 --> 00:40:09,751 I can't wait to hear about it. When are you coming home? 498 00:40:09,918 --> 00:40:13,585 I don't think we're gonna make it until this afternoon 499 00:40:13,756 --> 00:40:16,923 because Dana has some autograph thing. 500 00:40:17,092 --> 00:40:19,548 OK. Miss you. Bye. 501 00:40:21,638 --> 00:40:23,298 Dana! 502 00:40:30,604 --> 00:40:33,890 - Where's Dana? - Saying goodbye to her fans. 503 00:40:38,194 --> 00:40:40,235 - Shit. - What? 504 00:40:41,822 --> 00:40:44,574 She is not. She's not. 505 00:40:46,326 --> 00:40:49,364 Hey, guys. You remember Tonya, right? 506 00:40:49,538 --> 00:40:50,653 Uh-huh. 507 00:40:50,830 --> 00:40:55,244 - She's coming with us. Get your bag. - Let's go. 508 00:40:55,418 --> 00:41:00,460 My ex-girlfriend used to think I was psychotic I'd get up so early. 509 00:41:00,631 --> 00:41:03,039 - But I say carpe diem, right? - Right. 510 00:41:03,216 --> 00:41:07,345 - You must have to get up so early to train. - I do. 511 00:41:07,512 --> 00:41:10,086 - Brothers or sisters? - A brother, Howie, 16. 512 00:41:10,265 --> 00:41:15,093 - A pain in my ass. - I bet he's cute if he's from your family. 513 00:41:15,269 --> 00:41:17,476 - Shut up. - Cat or dog person? 514 00:41:17,646 --> 00:41:19,055 Please say dog, 'cause I hate cats. 515 00:41:19,056 --> 00:41:23,732 I think they're so cold and unfeeling. 516 00:41:23,902 --> 00:41:27,568 Some of them can be, but some are almost human. 517 00:41:27,738 --> 00:41:31,488 - You think? - Mine is. I really love Mr Piddles. 518 00:41:31,659 --> 00:41:34,780 - Mr Piddles? - Yeah, he's Dana's cat. 519 00:41:35,788 --> 00:41:36,950 I think that's great. 520 00:41:36,951 --> 00:41:41,078 These decisions have to be made on a cat-by-cat basis. 521 00:41:41,251 --> 00:41:45,545 - I cannot wait to meet Mr Piddles. - I knew you'd get it. 522 00:41:45,714 --> 00:41:48,964 - Do you wanna see a picture? - I would love to. 523 00:41:49,133 --> 00:41:53,001 You have a picture of your cat. That's so cute. 524 00:41:53,762 --> 00:41:58,176 Mr Piddles. Señor Piddles, international cat of mystery. 525 00:41:58,350 --> 00:42:04,685 My mysterious one-man show. He's my special furry man. Meow! 526 00:42:04,856 --> 00:42:06,019 - Bye! - Bye! 527 00:42:06,190 --> 00:42:08,231 - See you later. - See you, guys. 528 00:42:13,113 --> 00:42:17,064 - What the fuck are we gonna do? - About what? 529 00:42:17,242 --> 00:42:22,912 - Don't tell me you don't think she's trouble. - The cat thing was a bit much. 530 00:42:23,080 --> 00:42:27,328 And that story about meeting Anne Heche. What was that about? 531 00:42:27,501 --> 00:42:32,044 I gave her 50 bucks for the gas and I watched the meter. 532 00:42:32,213 --> 00:42:35,334 It was 32.50 and she didn't give me change. 533 00:42:35,508 --> 00:42:40,634 - Why didn't you say anything? - I don't know. I guess I need more evidence. 534 00:42:40,804 --> 00:42:44,590 What am I supposed to say? "Dana, your girlfriend's a grifter." 535 00:42:44,767 --> 00:42:47,009 She's happy. I can't. 536 00:42:55,192 --> 00:42:58,811 Hey. I thought I'd let you know I'm here working. 537 00:42:58,988 --> 00:43:01,028 Thank you. 538 00:43:28,222 --> 00:43:30,263 I'm sorry. I can't. 539 00:43:32,810 --> 00:43:34,850 You can't what, babe? 540 00:43:38,815 --> 00:43:41,104 - Hi. - Hi. 541 00:43:41,276 --> 00:43:43,542 I just was thinking that I'm not sure 542 00:43:43,543 --> 00:43:47,646 that I can get the show... ready in three weeks. 543 00:43:47,824 --> 00:43:49,567 You can do it. 544 00:43:52,243 --> 00:43:54,965 The party was so crazy. 545 00:43:54,966 --> 00:43:59,374 It made me wanna go home and crawl into bed with you.